The Power of Gratitud

I could ask you what would you look for to become happier, healthier, more optimistic and productive? Perhaps it will be very difficult for you to find an answer to this loaded question…

You may have to think for a while to find a strong answer. But let me tell you if we search in our inner self a little more, we may find a very good starting point to help us to become happier, healthier, and optimistic… Well what we need is “GRATITUD”, as simple as that.

In this entry I would like to share with you some ideas to help us find "GRATITUD" as a powerful tool to boost our happiness, health, and optimism.

Why Gratitude?  I read once that science tells us that an "attitude of gratitude" is a good health choice. Being more grateful more often makes us happier and more optimistic. But gratitude also adds to the bottom line - in very real ways. And the best news about gratitude is that it requires little time and no money.

 Let’s explore these five reasons why gratitude improves our productivity and results:
1. Gratitude attracts what we want. The universal law of attraction says that we will attract into our life the things we think about and focus on. Since this is true, wouldn't we want more of what we are thankful for?
Tip: Remember that when we are consciously aware of our blessings, and are grateful for them, we are focusing more clearly on what we do want in our lives - and are attracting more of those things into our lives.

2. Gratitude improves relationships. We learn the importance of saying "thank you" as little children. We are taught that habit because it is "good manners." This childhood lesson is extremely powerful. Think about those people that we know who are most appreciative of ours - and let us know it. How do we feel about them? Does their appreciation positively impact our relationship with them? Of course it does!
Tip: Be grateful for people, their contributions, their talents and their actions - and make sure we let them know how we feel.

3. Gratitude reduces negativity. It is hard to be negative about our situation when we are thinking about things for which we are grateful.
Tip: One of the fastest ways to improve our mood or outlook is to count our blessings.

4. Gratitude improves problem solving skills. Too often we look at problem solving with a very jaded view. "Something is wrong. We have barriers in our way. Then, we have to put in effort to fix it." Conversely, when we think about what we are grateful for we open our minds up to new possibilities and connections. We also enter a problem solving situation with a perspective of improvement and opportunity rather than challenge or issue.

5. Gratitude helps us learn. This is my favorite! Every dark cloud has a silver lining. Behind every problem lies an opportunity. Being grateful for our situation - even if we don't like everything about it - allows us to be thankful for the opportunity to learn something new.

Let's Practice:
1. Make a list of five things you are grateful for right now. These can be big things (like your family) or little things (like the fact that someone held the door open for you this morning). This can be a mental list or written down.

2. Reflect on your list and allow yourself to feel good about these things.

3. If there is a person you can thank or show your appreciation to, do that now too (a quick call or email is a good start!).

You can do this exercise anytime, and you don't have to stop at five things. In fact, it is a great idea to keep a running list in your Journal, planner or notebook - this way you can return to your list anytime you wish, reinforcing your gratitude.

Keep In Mind: Gratitude is an attitude. Gratitude is a choice. And gratitude is a habit. When we consciously practice being grateful for the people, situations and resources around us we begin to attract better relationships and results. The habit will be strengthened as you make the choice each day.

Enjoy! Tatiana

Being Present: Why It Matters?

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson







Have you ever heard this expression: “Life is so short”?
We always think of those words when having to worry about something that is going bad, or when we are trying to do something that we are very afraid of when taking that risk… I have heard and said this say many times… But do we really mean it? Life is so short that we forget to be present and enjoy the moment.

Let me challenge you more…

How often are we driving while talking on a cell phone, or thinking about work problems, or the errands we have to do? How often do we eat without thinking about the food we’re eating? How often do we drift off while doing other things, thinking about something we messed up on, or worrying about something that’s coming up? Our lives are full of worries, rush and pressure. However it is also a place for learning, growing and becoming better every day.

But…Every moment counts and we really are who we are because in every moment and interaction we have we learn something, practice something or reinforce things we did before. Well If we could only give one word of advice to someone trying to find peace in an overwhelming and stressful and chaotic world, it would may be this: simplify. But if we could give two more words of advice, they’d be: be present. What do you think?

Honestly I can’t claim to be perfect at being present. I can’t claim that I do it all the time. But I can say this: I’ve been practicing being present for a while now, and I’ve gotten better at it. I’ve learned a lot about being present, and I’d like to share that with others. So lets explore some practical tips I learned before:

Focus On Now - There are three things we can think about:

1. The past. Reliving things we messed up about. Being embarrassed about something we did. Wishing we could have something back that is gone. Living in memories of good times past. Being angry about things done to us. You get the idea.
2. The future. Worrying about things we need to do later. Worrying about what might happen, or a big event coming up. Being anxious that things might go wrong, or that we might mess up. Hoping for something wonderful. Dreaming of great things to come.
3. The present. What is happening right now, at this moment? What we are doing now.

For the Present…

1. Pay Attention – When you have idle time at a stop light or in a line at the grocery, for example, pay attention. Instead of letting your mind run ahead of you thinking about the route to your destination and possible traffic delays, or the list of errands that have to be completed after the grocery run, take a moment to pay attention. Turn off the radio in the car, roll down the windows and witness the traffic going in the cross direction, the jogger getting his morning run, the trees dancing in the wind, listen to the birds chirp, and the rustling of leaves. You only have to do it for a few moments, but it’s a good start.

2. Observe – Next time you’re in a meeting, observe what is going on. It’s a bit more than paying attention in duration. Paying attention is on a trigger basis. Observation is like watching a movie on a screen. Watch the players in action. Watch the body language. Listen for intonations. Do not speak. This can be a very powerful tool as you sit and take in everything that is playing out. You have nothing at stake in the grand scheme of things, but watch as you are able to respond perfectly when questioned. You will be surprised.

3. Breathe – When you’re ready to go beyond moments and minutes, try paying attention to your breath before you drift off to sleep. Before you drift off to sleep, spend 15 minutes paying attention to the rise and fall of your belly. If you feel yourself drifting off to sleep, or notice that your mind has wondered, gently bring it back to your belly. You could even put a book on it and watch it rise and fall.

4. Meditate – You can now begin to establish a sitting practice. It is the practice of sitting still for about 30 minutes in silence. Let your thoughts go. When you realize that your mind is chasing your thoughts, bring it back to your breath. Just be still. Nothing to do or think about. Nothing to ponder, just be.

5. Put up reminders –   A reminder on our fridge or computer desktop or on our wall is a good thing. Or use a reminder service to send our daily email. Whatever it takes to keep us focus on practicing being present.

6. Practice, Practice – There’s no single method that will get you better at being present. I don’t have the magical formula, except one word that I often tell people at work when they’re learning anything or striving to be better at anything: practice.

Once we become aware, we are then able to influence the world around us in seemingly effortless ways.

Here is the action Item: Share in this blog any of your outcomes while practicing being present.

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” - Albert Einstein

Enjoy! Tatiana

Thinking About Your Life Choices and Decision Making

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. ~David Russell

As we travel around finalizing the year, I would like to reconnect with all of you and share ideas about Life Choices and Decision Making.

Have you ever thought that everything we do in our daily habits may include making a decision or taking a choice? A simple decision like: Wondering what to wear for work, arranging our meetings for the week, putting together our grocery shopping list, taking time to meet our friends, driving our kids to their play group, planning the next vacation or festivity, etc… Those are decision that may look very simple, but they could bring complexity into our daily routines.

I read once, “Life is the sum of all our choices”, and in fact, decision making are choices.  For many choices and decisions, are fraught and anxious processes. Let me tell you why?

Between the decision and its execution is a slot in time through which voices of anxiety and regret often make themselves heard. Instead, let action flow naturally from your resolve, without a break. Or if you cannot take action right away on what you have chosen, use your trust in yourself. 

Here are SIX great tips to help our energy flow around the decisions we need to make:

1. Trust your Armory… Never let the future disturb us. This is complex to achieve and put into practice. However, let’s keep in mind that we will meet our future, if we have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm us against the present.

 2. Heart of Heart… When it feels like our logical mind is driving us around in circles and has become an obstacle to effective decision making, let’s block out its chatter and noise for a while, tune into our heart. Listen carefully to it. We will instinctively know when its harmonies strike a balance with the underlying melody of our mind. Only then should we take action. In other words, let’s trust our gut feelings, and listen more to our internal voice.

3. Discovery… “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” 

 4. Knotty… Too much analysis can lead to actions that are out of proportion. Always consider the simplest solution first – avoid cutting a knot that could be untied.

 5. Life Change… Major changes in life – such as moving country to town, downsizing or early retirement – can be difficult or impossible to reverse. As I faced it in the last months, personally I can tell that it can be difficult or impossible to reverse. So it’s important that we make our decisions in the basis of sufficient evidence. Don’t use someone else who is very different for us as our exploratory pioneer – what suits someone else may not be right for us.

6. Front Seat… Faced with a tough choice, many of us may look for some one that can lead by example and take charge and lift the responsibility from our shoulders. Recognize that if we wait for someone else to make decisions for us, we’ll waste time (and probably dislike the results anyway). Let’s take charge – and be accountable.

Let’s Share…What’s your Story?

• What have you done differently when making any decisions?

• What can we do NOW to empower ourselves more when making our own decisions?
• What behaviors are we seeking to shape to be more effective in our journey?

Enjoy!  Tatyana Camargo

 

Managing Our Emotions

 

Have you ever received feedback at work or in your personal life about becoming better at managing your emotions? Well, I have received it and also shared it at work when coaching individuals. In fact, self-regulating our emotions may help us balance who we are and how we react to what comes in every new cycle in life. Also, this is a topic I always wanted to address because of my own experience and my journey growing and developing as an individual.

What do you think about this statement: “Emotions are felt by everyone – love, hate, fear, joy, and so on. However, while these emotions are an inextricable part of our lives, we need control them in order to ensure that we respond to a situation right way. This is especially important when it comes to negative emotions”.

Why Are Emotions Necessary?  Emotions are a necessary part of life, as they are needed in order to be able to live life fully. But what are emotions? They are the language of everyone’s mental state of being, and are tied to a person’s social and physical sensory feelings. Emotions are the feelings that are used to react to fear, joy, love, sadness, hate, disgust, and pleasure. However, emotions need to be managed in order to ensure that they are appropriate in any given situation to prevent consequences or negative behaviors. If an emotion is strong enough to take over our brain, it can cover logical reasoning and cause a loss of inner peace.

Let’s explore important tips to help us become savvy when managing our own emotions. Some of these tips are adapted from the book 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer and other personal experiences.

• Becoming Strong Individuals - Managing our emotions means that we will become happier, more confident in ourselves, and more able to deal with the challenges in life. The first way to manage our emotions is by managing our thoughts. Negative thoughts affect our energy, and we will feel less likely to take action. Pessimists are generally insecure, depressed people that do not know how to manage their emotions, especially in times of stress. Positive thinkers focus on the good side of things in order to deal with situations in a rational manner without letting emotions cloud their judgment.  Look for Positive Psychology.

• Emotional Dressage - Think that we are a charioteer, and our emotions as horses under control. They are powerful and can become headstrong, but if train them properly we’ll usually submit to our will. However, if we let them have their way, we’re unlikely to steer a straight course.

• Feeling an Emotion – These two terms are confused, but there are distinctions. An emotion is an inner surge when mind is swamped by chemicals: anger, fear, lust, envy, joy, and pride are all emotions. Feelings, on the other hand, affect our behavior less dramatically. Emotions can distort our reasoning, whereas feelings tend to give a tinges to our reasoning. Start using these terms with care: a thoughtful vocabulary can be helpful tool in the quest of self-knowledge.

• Replay - When we describe a past emotional event to someone, does the emotion come flooding back? If so, you need to work on your detachment. When recounting what happened, concentrate on the words we’re using, not the experience itself. Remember that your purpose is simply to convey accurate information, and being overcome by the emotion could undermine your success as a narrator. Stay Calm: It’s Over!

• Emotion’s Management – Our emotions such as anger needs to be controlled. Anger, improperly controlled, and causes people to say or do hurtful or harsh things that cannot be undone later on. Let’s try to hold back our emotions (anger) by learning self-control – visualize the possible consequences of our anger. Usually this is enough to allow us to sit back for a while. A balanced life that includes a good diet, and regular exercise can manage help us manage our emotions, as both of these have been proven to have good effects on the way that people feel. 

• Peace - “The greatest of victories is the victory over oneself.” Indian Proverb.

• Making it Concrete - Start to believe that we can control our emotions. Also pay attention to our emotions – this will allow us to focus on what is happening at the moment and help us to respond appropriately. Never ignore our emotions or suppress them in the hope that they will simply disappear. Try and determine the source of our feelings. Is it caused by something that is happening now or as the result of a prior experience? Talk about our feelings but do so in a non-confrontational manner. This could be as simple as using “I” instead of “you.  Wherever possible, focus on the positives.

• Finally, let’s keep it simple: To manage our emotions and self-regulate ourselves: Get enough rest , talk to someone your trust , learn to solve problems , listen to your self-talk , get all the facts before you act , take a mini mind vacation, help somebody else , seek help, be yourself, ask for what you want, and compromise.

My own learning:

Emotions to me are a complex thing, like a Pandora Box that can surprise us even when we are not paying attention. However trying to control our negative feelings and bringing more self-awareness can help us gain power and be fully capable to navigate difficult and complex situations. Remember that what we can control in any given situations is: WHAT WE THINK, WHAT WE FEEL AND WHAT WE SAY!
 

Let’s compromise:

1. Take action and start building more awareness of how you perceive things and how you react.
2. Try at least one of the tips provided.

Enjoy! Tatyana Camargo

 

 

 

 

 

Becoming More Mindful and Open

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” ~ Dalai Lama

Fall is here and with this new season change is coming to help us celebrate new things in our lives. Let’s be more mindful to enjoy every challenge and opportunity while embracing this new season!

Why is this? Since I have faced several changes in my life that had showed the importance of acceptance and openness, in this entry I would like to share with you some great I’ve been using to really increase my awareness on becoming mindful and open every day.

Try to practice at least two things from this list every day:

1. One Change: Routine can bring comforting stability and structure to your day, yet it’s new experiences that make us feel we’re truly alive. Make a promise to yourselves to vary one small part of our routine each day: walk a difference route to work… Feel the invigorating power of change.
2. Reasoning: “The less routing, the more life.” – Amos Bronson Alcott.
3. Breezy Start: Begin each day in the expectation that some time, before day’s end, you’ll receive some good news.
4. Lucky You: Think of chores you face in the day ahead as a privilege, not a burden. Resolve to enjoy the satisfaction of doing them to best of your ability. Take pleasure in your skills.
5. Sante! We tend to really appreciate normal health only when we’re sick. Resolve, next time you wake up, to notice and celebrate the inestimable value of your health, and the benefits it will bring to the day ahead.
6. Reassess: Take a moment of quiet each morning to check that the plan you made the day before still make sense in the clear morning light. Adjust them as necessary. Embrace fluidity.
7. Early Riser: At least once a month, watch the sunrise, a refreshing experience for mind and spirit.
8. Work Ahead: “Awake, my soul, and with the sun Thy daily stage of duty run “Thomas Ken"
9. Special Theme: Set and intention for your day, such as “Today I will be a good listener” or “Today I will not get distracted.” Repeat your intention to yourself whenever you tire or lack motivation. Alternatively, set a theme for the day: for example, you might decide you’re going to dedicate a day to adventure, or fluidity, friendship, or inner wealth.
10. Be yourself!

Adapted from 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer

 Call to Action: From these recommendations, what’s your goal for this Fall Season…?

Enjoy!  Tatyana Camargo

 

Timing Your Approach to Face Time

 

What's going one with time... it's always something we complain about and look to stretch.

But really what can we do to make it something that we just accept and embrace so that when we are stress out it help us get thru things with joy and less pain.  Here is something I want to reflect on and help others see differently.

 

"Do not say you do not have enough time. You have the exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to people like Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein". – H Jackson Brow.

I just read this quote and got me thinking…

 

How many times we said in a day "I wish I can have more hours to do all the things I need to do", "I do not have time?" etc… If we are like the majority of people, this is something we just thought about it at least once a day. It seems like our lives continue to be busier but time does not stretch with that fact. However, when I read this quote it reminded me that great things can be done and have been done without stretching or increasing time. So let’s stop complaining about it, and do something.

 Let's reflect on the following:

1. What would you do with your time today, tomorrow?
2. What can you do to stop complaining and do something?

 Enjoy! Tatyana Camargo

Tuning In Your Attitude

 

Let’s begin by defining what attitude means by the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

at·ti·tude

: the way you think and feel about someone or something

: a feeling or way of thinking that affects a person's behavior

: a way of thinking and behaving that people regard as unfriendly, rude, etc.

My personal reflection on ATTITUDE…  I made every effort to keep a positive attitude and use it to influence others…The way we receive and accept everything that comes from the environment, our surroundings and specially the people we have around us; depends on the attitude we place into things, situations and moments. Many people in this world mistakenly believe that their attitude is set, and it cannot change. Our attitude is a choice! If our desire is to make every day a positive one and a place for learning something new and different… then we have a great attitude! However it could be difficult to implement that thought if we are trapped into negative contemplations. Although it is hard to implement, start setting internal desires to monitor that bad attitude and push ourselves to change it.

Here is how I practice to increase my positive attitude despite the challenges I could face:

• Reminded myself: “The things I know I can control are what I feel, what I see, and what I think! That pushed me to have a positive attitude, and to help others see it too.

• Recognized that my attitude needs daily adjustments – like any other disciple our attitude will not take care of itself. That’s why it needs to be attended to daily. The stronger our natural inclination to be pessimistic or critical, the more attention our attitude will need. 

• Incorporated an attitude check like a camera for myself, and watched for red flags signaling that my attitude might be in trouble.

• Looked for something positive in every situation, and said something positive in very conversation.

 
Taking action: Where do we stand when it comes to our attitude for every day? Let’s reflect:

• What are you going to do to choose and display the right attitude daily?
• Based on the decision you made concerning attitude, what is the one discipline you must practice today and every day I  order to be successful?

Enjoy!  Tatyana Camargo

Increasing your Personal Growth and Development

To me personal growth means you are compromise with yourself to look at your life, how you feel, what are you missing and what can be improved, and you are actively working on developing yourself to be better every day. Here I provide 5 things that I personally discovered in my journey to achieve my career and personal aspirations.

1.       Potential: Reflected on my potential as an individual and professional. Once in a while I reflected about my potential, my talents and the gaps I’m facing to fulfill that potential. Tips that I have used:

• knowing and understanding myself better
• living life more consciously and deliberately
• attaining personal satisfaction and fulfillment
   

 2. Change: I kept working in making a commitment to change. In fact to make something out of ourselves, we need to be willing to change, for without change, there can be no growth. If we truly want to grow, then commit ourselves to not only accepting change, but seeking it.  Best tips that worked for me to accept change and move on: 

• maintaining balance and flexibility in your life
• taking care of your physical and mental health, nurturing yourself
• learning to deal with problems and stressful situations
• maintaining good relationships with loved ones for support and encouragement 

 

3.       Journey: I have learned to enjoy the journey.  Basically if we are going to spend time learning something, then we better learn to like it. Let’s put it this way… If the destination appeals to us, but we cannot enjoy the journey it takes to be there, we would be wise to reexamine our priorities to make sure we have them right.


4.       Perspective: I have increased my awareness of having perspective. Let’s define it first; It is how we perceive things in the context of the whole and how we judge importance of one thing in relation to others. I think that everything that happens in our lives is driven with how we perceive things too. Of course there have been parts of my personal journey that I really do not like at all, however the perspective I have placed into them, make a big difference to me. Even though we cannot help but react emotionally to some difficult situations, if we cannot control or change them, we can decide how we allow them affect us. Going back to my first lesson, here is an additional reflection – “Attitude, which is an aspect of perspective, is a way of thinking or looking at things. We have the ability to choose how we think or our attitudes”. Ultimately life is a subjective experience and it is up to each of us to decide how we choose to view and experience it.
 

 5.       Resilience: if someone asked me to define myself, I will clearly articulate that I have tried to be a resilient individual.  By definition resilience is our ability to regain original form and to thrive and fulfill potential in spite of adversity or difficult circumstances.  Here is a great explanation of how to understand what resilience is, and how to make it a strong quality to grow and develop.

By Essential Life Skills.net:  “When life situations get out of kilter, it is the one quality and skill we need most to get us through the difficult times. To be resilient means we are able to remain stable and function in the face of disruption and chaos. It means we can continue with everyday tasks, remain balanced, and bounce back quickly from hard times. Resilience can be described as an emotional muscle which we all possess to some degree. With determination and practice we can develop and strengthen it even further. Being aware of why we need it and how important it is can encourage us to work on increasing it”.

Call to action: Where do we stand when it comes to our personal growth for every day? Let’s reflect:

1.       Have I already made the decision to seek and experience improvement daily?

2.       Based on your decision, what is the one action you are going to practice every day in order to be successful?

Enjoy! Tatyana Camargo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Building Your Priorities and Perspectives

During many of my coaching sessions and conversations with peers, friends and family; a subject that always comes up is the matter of not having time to do things, not having enough energy to focus on priorities, or having too much to do with too little time… It is ashamed, I have felt the same many times, and at a point in my life it became an overwhelming feeling. However, I decided to take action, and learn how to manage that feeling by learning better ways of looking at competing priorities: work, home, and life to balance myself and my inner peace.  So inspired by many of my coworkers, friends and people I coach, here are my lessons learned:

1.       Time Skills: To get the best out of life, apply some basic time management skills. These boils down to two key principles: finding balance of personal priorities and responsibilities; and preserving our “own time” from unwanted distractions. Time is squander but also too precious to squeeze. It is a discipline but like any other skill, taking on step at a time will help to master the final outcome to have that balance.  I like to approach: Urgent Vs. Important by Steven Covey in his book the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits)


 

2.       Know what matters: No one should devote their life entirely to a single priority: that could result in extreme asceticism or unbroken concentration upon, say, parenting, work or art. Any time we devote to ourselves is time we’re not giving to another; any time we spend on beauty is time not spent on compassion. Such exclusions are inevitable. If we know what matters, we’ll be able to adjudicate between conflicting demands when they occur.

 

3.       Re-Think: Do a major time management audit at least every 4 months. Consider which routine activities are intruding into our quality of life, and whether we could shed any of them. How is our life-work balance treating us? Where are the stresses in our week, and how could they be eased? This is the time, too, to think about whether major changes might be desirable – for example: moving into a new house, or planning a different kind of vacation. Make sure that we come out of our audit with at least three concrete decisions for change, however modest.

 

4.       Checking the Boxes:  Write a list of prioritized tasks in a notebook each day to focus our mind, with a little square box alongside each one. Check the box once we’ve completed the task – a simple but effective way to keep on top of crowed and evolving to-do list. It takes practice to get that habit into our system; it is one step at time with the purpose in mind to become more organized, that will be helpful.  “I really learned to do this, and it gave me a safe place to know where to start and finish my day”.

 

5.       Today’s Work: The word procrastination derives from the Latin word “crastinus”, meaning “belonging to tomorrow.” Do not fall into the trap of believing that we’ll have more time to tackle a tricky task or project tomorrow than today – the reality is, we’ll probably find ourselves as pressed for time then as now.

Adapted from 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer

 

Let's take some action:

·         What can we do NOW to empower ourselves to manage our priorities in a smart way?

·         What can we do differently to be more driven and proactive for our time management?

Enjoy!  Tatyana Camargo