How to Increase Personal Change Agility

Shaping Life – “The Universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Marcus Aurelius (121-180), Rome

Change Agility is the ability to deal with ambiguity, to operate effectively when strategies are unclear, when new ways of doing things look impossible, when what we have done in the past is not working and new solutions are needed. – We live in a world where change is constant, and it is presented in our lives without a formal announcement.  In our daily lives there are always changes presented in the way we eat, live, think, buy things, build relationships, communicate with others, join new projects and make decisions.  The ability to deal with it is what makes us agile.

In this entry I would like to share few simple principles that we can employ to enhance our personal change agility and capacity. They have worked for me and many other people I had the privilege to coach and mentor.

Perspective
Let’s define it first; it is how we perceive things in the context of the whole and how we judge importance of one thing in relation to others. Everything that happens in our lives is driven with how we perceive things too. Of course there have been parts of our personal journey that we did not like at all, however the open mindset and perspective we place into them, will make a big difference.  Even though we cannot help but react emotionally to some difficult situations, if we cannot control or change them, we can decide how we allow them to affect us. Attitude then is a very important component of having perspective.  Here is why: Attitude is a way of thinking or looking at things. We have the ability to choose how we would like to react in any given time specially when facing change. Ultimately life is a subjective experience and it is up to each of us to decide how we choose to view and experience it.

Positive Mind-Set
When a transition occurs or we are facing any change, let’s be sure to keep our thoughts on what we can control. Keeping our focus on what has happened (or happening) to us will not help us get to where we need to be. Assuming the change is not a positive event, keeping our focus on where we want to be – our ultimate goal – will increase the odds of us dealing with change. The biggest lever we have is our attitude. When we have an attitude that embraces change, rather than resisting change it gives us the ability to work with whatever comes in our way.

Seek Inner Security
Security is one of the foundational components of Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. It’s the belief that we can handle any change that comes our way and knowing that we will be okay. Some people believe that inner security is a skill that we develop or something that we’re born with. But, in reality, inner security is a choice that we make and that we can develop by been courageous to face down any fear of the unknown. Become open to learn from every moment or challenge we may face, and know that there is always a good lesson to seek for. Asking ourselves simple questions like these can get us started: What is the one new thing we need to believe to get through the change we’re experiencing or initiating? What are the best things we believe about ourselves? Our skills, talents, qualities… what makes you, you?

Reach Out to Others
When dealing with a change that we believe is too big to handle, it is important to build and create our support system. Here is how, enlist the help of other people – trusted friends, co-workers, or support groups. They can offer insights, comfort, and support that we cannot do for ourselves. This may seem obvious, but it is often overlooked. 

Faith in Change
Martin Luther King, Jr., once said: “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” While it’s important for some plans to be well thought-out, leave room for courageous spontaneity.

Room for Growth
When we recognize deep down that a change is necessary, don’t cling to useless patterns just because they are comfortable. Let’s allow our former selves to slough away naturally, leaving a brighter, healthier person with new ways of doing things and more tools to continue the journey.

Look for Past Experiences to Channel the Present
Look back five years. Identify the changes already under way that we would like to continue; any wrong turnings and setbacks too, other routes, so far untraveled, that we would like to explore in the future. Plan our journey with all those lessons and the ones to come, set out – hopefully.

Use Meditation – The Bridge of Change
Here is a powerful meditation exercise I have used especially when I had some changes that were difficult to accept and enjoy. “Bridge of Change: Big moments of change are to some extent artificial because we remain essential ourselves, however much of our circumstances alter. Imagine a bridge connecting the two different phases of our lives. Before we cross it, we have choices to make: what to take with us and what to leave behind. Take only what is of value, discarding the rest.”

Change Takes Practice
Keep in mind that adjusting to change takes practice. When we are in facing any change, we have to retraining our brains and create a new habit. Start thinking about our new beliefs, they will represent our new perspective. Soon those beliefs will become more familiar, and eventually the will become automatic.

Enjoy!

 Tatiana Schrader

 

 

The Power of Gratitud

I could ask you what would you look for to become happier, healthier, more optimistic and productive? Perhaps it will be very difficult for you to find an answer to this loaded question…

You may have to think for a while to find a strong answer. But let me tell you if we search in our inner self a little more, we may find a very good starting point to help us to become happier, healthier, and optimistic… Well what we need is “GRATITUD”, as simple as that.

In this entry I would like to share with you some ideas to help us find "GRATITUD" as a powerful tool to boost our happiness, health, and optimism.

Why Gratitude?  I read once that science tells us that an "attitude of gratitude" is a good health choice. Being more grateful more often makes us happier and more optimistic. But gratitude also adds to the bottom line - in very real ways. And the best news about gratitude is that it requires little time and no money.

 Let’s explore these five reasons why gratitude improves our productivity and results:
1. Gratitude attracts what we want. The universal law of attraction says that we will attract into our life the things we think about and focus on. Since this is true, wouldn't we want more of what we are thankful for?
Tip: Remember that when we are consciously aware of our blessings, and are grateful for them, we are focusing more clearly on what we do want in our lives - and are attracting more of those things into our lives.

2. Gratitude improves relationships. We learn the importance of saying "thank you" as little children. We are taught that habit because it is "good manners." This childhood lesson is extremely powerful. Think about those people that we know who are most appreciative of ours - and let us know it. How do we feel about them? Does their appreciation positively impact our relationship with them? Of course it does!
Tip: Be grateful for people, their contributions, their talents and their actions - and make sure we let them know how we feel.

3. Gratitude reduces negativity. It is hard to be negative about our situation when we are thinking about things for which we are grateful.
Tip: One of the fastest ways to improve our mood or outlook is to count our blessings.

4. Gratitude improves problem solving skills. Too often we look at problem solving with a very jaded view. "Something is wrong. We have barriers in our way. Then, we have to put in effort to fix it." Conversely, when we think about what we are grateful for we open our minds up to new possibilities and connections. We also enter a problem solving situation with a perspective of improvement and opportunity rather than challenge or issue.

5. Gratitude helps us learn. This is my favorite! Every dark cloud has a silver lining. Behind every problem lies an opportunity. Being grateful for our situation - even if we don't like everything about it - allows us to be thankful for the opportunity to learn something new.

Let's Practice:
1. Make a list of five things you are grateful for right now. These can be big things (like your family) or little things (like the fact that someone held the door open for you this morning). This can be a mental list or written down.

2. Reflect on your list and allow yourself to feel good about these things.

3. If there is a person you can thank or show your appreciation to, do that now too (a quick call or email is a good start!).

You can do this exercise anytime, and you don't have to stop at five things. In fact, it is a great idea to keep a running list in your Journal, planner or notebook - this way you can return to your list anytime you wish, reinforcing your gratitude.

Keep In Mind: Gratitude is an attitude. Gratitude is a choice. And gratitude is a habit. When we consciously practice being grateful for the people, situations and resources around us we begin to attract better relationships and results. The habit will be strengthened as you make the choice each day.

Enjoy! Tatiana

Being Present: Why It Matters?

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson







Have you ever heard this expression: “Life is so short”?
We always think of those words when having to worry about something that is going bad, or when we are trying to do something that we are very afraid of when taking that risk… I have heard and said this say many times… But do we really mean it? Life is so short that we forget to be present and enjoy the moment.

Let me challenge you more…

How often are we driving while talking on a cell phone, or thinking about work problems, or the errands we have to do? How often do we eat without thinking about the food we’re eating? How often do we drift off while doing other things, thinking about something we messed up on, or worrying about something that’s coming up? Our lives are full of worries, rush and pressure. However it is also a place for learning, growing and becoming better every day.

But…Every moment counts and we really are who we are because in every moment and interaction we have we learn something, practice something or reinforce things we did before. Well If we could only give one word of advice to someone trying to find peace in an overwhelming and stressful and chaotic world, it would may be this: simplify. But if we could give two more words of advice, they’d be: be present. What do you think?

Honestly I can’t claim to be perfect at being present. I can’t claim that I do it all the time. But I can say this: I’ve been practicing being present for a while now, and I’ve gotten better at it. I’ve learned a lot about being present, and I’d like to share that with others. So lets explore some practical tips I learned before:

Focus On Now - There are three things we can think about:

1. The past. Reliving things we messed up about. Being embarrassed about something we did. Wishing we could have something back that is gone. Living in memories of good times past. Being angry about things done to us. You get the idea.
2. The future. Worrying about things we need to do later. Worrying about what might happen, or a big event coming up. Being anxious that things might go wrong, or that we might mess up. Hoping for something wonderful. Dreaming of great things to come.
3. The present. What is happening right now, at this moment? What we are doing now.

For the Present…

1. Pay Attention – When you have idle time at a stop light or in a line at the grocery, for example, pay attention. Instead of letting your mind run ahead of you thinking about the route to your destination and possible traffic delays, or the list of errands that have to be completed after the grocery run, take a moment to pay attention. Turn off the radio in the car, roll down the windows and witness the traffic going in the cross direction, the jogger getting his morning run, the trees dancing in the wind, listen to the birds chirp, and the rustling of leaves. You only have to do it for a few moments, but it’s a good start.

2. Observe – Next time you’re in a meeting, observe what is going on. It’s a bit more than paying attention in duration. Paying attention is on a trigger basis. Observation is like watching a movie on a screen. Watch the players in action. Watch the body language. Listen for intonations. Do not speak. This can be a very powerful tool as you sit and take in everything that is playing out. You have nothing at stake in the grand scheme of things, but watch as you are able to respond perfectly when questioned. You will be surprised.

3. Breathe – When you’re ready to go beyond moments and minutes, try paying attention to your breath before you drift off to sleep. Before you drift off to sleep, spend 15 minutes paying attention to the rise and fall of your belly. If you feel yourself drifting off to sleep, or notice that your mind has wondered, gently bring it back to your belly. You could even put a book on it and watch it rise and fall.

4. Meditate – You can now begin to establish a sitting practice. It is the practice of sitting still for about 30 minutes in silence. Let your thoughts go. When you realize that your mind is chasing your thoughts, bring it back to your breath. Just be still. Nothing to do or think about. Nothing to ponder, just be.

5. Put up reminders –   A reminder on our fridge or computer desktop or on our wall is a good thing. Or use a reminder service to send our daily email. Whatever it takes to keep us focus on practicing being present.

6. Practice, Practice – There’s no single method that will get you better at being present. I don’t have the magical formula, except one word that I often tell people at work when they’re learning anything or striving to be better at anything: practice.

Once we become aware, we are then able to influence the world around us in seemingly effortless ways.

Here is the action Item: Share in this blog any of your outcomes while practicing being present.

“I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.” - Albert Einstein

Enjoy! Tatiana

Thinking About Your Life Choices and Decision Making

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. ~David Russell

As we travel around finalizing the year, I would like to reconnect with all of you and share ideas about Life Choices and Decision Making.

Have you ever thought that everything we do in our daily habits may include making a decision or taking a choice? A simple decision like: Wondering what to wear for work, arranging our meetings for the week, putting together our grocery shopping list, taking time to meet our friends, driving our kids to their play group, planning the next vacation or festivity, etc… Those are decision that may look very simple, but they could bring complexity into our daily routines.

I read once, “Life is the sum of all our choices”, and in fact, decision making are choices.  For many choices and decisions, are fraught and anxious processes. Let me tell you why?

Between the decision and its execution is a slot in time through which voices of anxiety and regret often make themselves heard. Instead, let action flow naturally from your resolve, without a break. Or if you cannot take action right away on what you have chosen, use your trust in yourself. 

Here are SIX great tips to help our energy flow around the decisions we need to make:

1. Trust your Armory… Never let the future disturb us. This is complex to achieve and put into practice. However, let’s keep in mind that we will meet our future, if we have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm us against the present.

 2. Heart of Heart… When it feels like our logical mind is driving us around in circles and has become an obstacle to effective decision making, let’s block out its chatter and noise for a while, tune into our heart. Listen carefully to it. We will instinctively know when its harmonies strike a balance with the underlying melody of our mind. Only then should we take action. In other words, let’s trust our gut feelings, and listen more to our internal voice.

3. Discovery… “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” 

 4. Knotty… Too much analysis can lead to actions that are out of proportion. Always consider the simplest solution first – avoid cutting a knot that could be untied.

 5. Life Change… Major changes in life – such as moving country to town, downsizing or early retirement – can be difficult or impossible to reverse. As I faced it in the last months, personally I can tell that it can be difficult or impossible to reverse. So it’s important that we make our decisions in the basis of sufficient evidence. Don’t use someone else who is very different for us as our exploratory pioneer – what suits someone else may not be right for us.

6. Front Seat… Faced with a tough choice, many of us may look for some one that can lead by example and take charge and lift the responsibility from our shoulders. Recognize that if we wait for someone else to make decisions for us, we’ll waste time (and probably dislike the results anyway). Let’s take charge – and be accountable.

Let’s Share…What’s your Story?

• What have you done differently when making any decisions?

• What can we do NOW to empower ourselves more when making our own decisions?
• What behaviors are we seeking to shape to be more effective in our journey?

Enjoy!  Tatyana Camargo

 

Managing Our Emotions

 

Have you ever received feedback at work or in your personal life about becoming better at managing your emotions? Well, I have received it and also shared it at work when coaching individuals. In fact, self-regulating our emotions may help us balance who we are and how we react to what comes in every new cycle in life. Also, this is a topic I always wanted to address because of my own experience and my journey growing and developing as an individual.

What do you think about this statement: “Emotions are felt by everyone – love, hate, fear, joy, and so on. However, while these emotions are an inextricable part of our lives, we need control them in order to ensure that we respond to a situation right way. This is especially important when it comes to negative emotions”.

Why Are Emotions Necessary?  Emotions are a necessary part of life, as they are needed in order to be able to live life fully. But what are emotions? They are the language of everyone’s mental state of being, and are tied to a person’s social and physical sensory feelings. Emotions are the feelings that are used to react to fear, joy, love, sadness, hate, disgust, and pleasure. However, emotions need to be managed in order to ensure that they are appropriate in any given situation to prevent consequences or negative behaviors. If an emotion is strong enough to take over our brain, it can cover logical reasoning and cause a loss of inner peace.

Let’s explore important tips to help us become savvy when managing our own emotions. Some of these tips are adapted from the book 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer and other personal experiences.

• Becoming Strong Individuals - Managing our emotions means that we will become happier, more confident in ourselves, and more able to deal with the challenges in life. The first way to manage our emotions is by managing our thoughts. Negative thoughts affect our energy, and we will feel less likely to take action. Pessimists are generally insecure, depressed people that do not know how to manage their emotions, especially in times of stress. Positive thinkers focus on the good side of things in order to deal with situations in a rational manner without letting emotions cloud their judgment.  Look for Positive Psychology.

• Emotional Dressage - Think that we are a charioteer, and our emotions as horses under control. They are powerful and can become headstrong, but if train them properly we’ll usually submit to our will. However, if we let them have their way, we’re unlikely to steer a straight course.

• Feeling an Emotion – These two terms are confused, but there are distinctions. An emotion is an inner surge when mind is swamped by chemicals: anger, fear, lust, envy, joy, and pride are all emotions. Feelings, on the other hand, affect our behavior less dramatically. Emotions can distort our reasoning, whereas feelings tend to give a tinges to our reasoning. Start using these terms with care: a thoughtful vocabulary can be helpful tool in the quest of self-knowledge.

• Replay - When we describe a past emotional event to someone, does the emotion come flooding back? If so, you need to work on your detachment. When recounting what happened, concentrate on the words we’re using, not the experience itself. Remember that your purpose is simply to convey accurate information, and being overcome by the emotion could undermine your success as a narrator. Stay Calm: It’s Over!

• Emotion’s Management – Our emotions such as anger needs to be controlled. Anger, improperly controlled, and causes people to say or do hurtful or harsh things that cannot be undone later on. Let’s try to hold back our emotions (anger) by learning self-control – visualize the possible consequences of our anger. Usually this is enough to allow us to sit back for a while. A balanced life that includes a good diet, and regular exercise can manage help us manage our emotions, as both of these have been proven to have good effects on the way that people feel. 

• Peace - “The greatest of victories is the victory over oneself.” Indian Proverb.

• Making it Concrete - Start to believe that we can control our emotions. Also pay attention to our emotions – this will allow us to focus on what is happening at the moment and help us to respond appropriately. Never ignore our emotions or suppress them in the hope that they will simply disappear. Try and determine the source of our feelings. Is it caused by something that is happening now or as the result of a prior experience? Talk about our feelings but do so in a non-confrontational manner. This could be as simple as using “I” instead of “you.  Wherever possible, focus on the positives.

• Finally, let’s keep it simple: To manage our emotions and self-regulate ourselves: Get enough rest , talk to someone your trust , learn to solve problems , listen to your self-talk , get all the facts before you act , take a mini mind vacation, help somebody else , seek help, be yourself, ask for what you want, and compromise.

My own learning:

Emotions to me are a complex thing, like a Pandora Box that can surprise us even when we are not paying attention. However trying to control our negative feelings and bringing more self-awareness can help us gain power and be fully capable to navigate difficult and complex situations. Remember that what we can control in any given situations is: WHAT WE THINK, WHAT WE FEEL AND WHAT WE SAY!
 

Let’s compromise:

1. Take action and start building more awareness of how you perceive things and how you react.
2. Try at least one of the tips provided.

Enjoy! Tatyana Camargo

 

 

 

 

 

Becoming More Mindful and Open

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” ~ Dalai Lama

Fall is here and with this new season change is coming to help us celebrate new things in our lives. Let’s be more mindful to enjoy every challenge and opportunity while embracing this new season!

Why is this? Since I have faced several changes in my life that had showed the importance of acceptance and openness, in this entry I would like to share with you some great I’ve been using to really increase my awareness on becoming mindful and open every day.

Try to practice at least two things from this list every day:

1. One Change: Routine can bring comforting stability and structure to your day, yet it’s new experiences that make us feel we’re truly alive. Make a promise to yourselves to vary one small part of our routine each day: walk a difference route to work… Feel the invigorating power of change.
2. Reasoning: “The less routing, the more life.” – Amos Bronson Alcott.
3. Breezy Start: Begin each day in the expectation that some time, before day’s end, you’ll receive some good news.
4. Lucky You: Think of chores you face in the day ahead as a privilege, not a burden. Resolve to enjoy the satisfaction of doing them to best of your ability. Take pleasure in your skills.
5. Sante! We tend to really appreciate normal health only when we’re sick. Resolve, next time you wake up, to notice and celebrate the inestimable value of your health, and the benefits it will bring to the day ahead.
6. Reassess: Take a moment of quiet each morning to check that the plan you made the day before still make sense in the clear morning light. Adjust them as necessary. Embrace fluidity.
7. Early Riser: At least once a month, watch the sunrise, a refreshing experience for mind and spirit.
8. Work Ahead: “Awake, my soul, and with the sun Thy daily stage of duty run “Thomas Ken"
9. Special Theme: Set and intention for your day, such as “Today I will be a good listener” or “Today I will not get distracted.” Repeat your intention to yourself whenever you tire or lack motivation. Alternatively, set a theme for the day: for example, you might decide you’re going to dedicate a day to adventure, or fluidity, friendship, or inner wealth.
10. Be yourself!

Adapted from 1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment – by Barbara Anna Kipfer

 Call to Action: From these recommendations, what’s your goal for this Fall Season…?

Enjoy!  Tatyana Camargo

 

Timing Your Approach to Face Time

 

What's going one with time... it's always something we complain about and look to stretch.

But really what can we do to make it something that we just accept and embrace so that when we are stress out it help us get thru things with joy and less pain.  Here is something I want to reflect on and help others see differently.

 

"Do not say you do not have enough time. You have the exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to people like Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein". – H Jackson Brow.

I just read this quote and got me thinking…

 

How many times we said in a day "I wish I can have more hours to do all the things I need to do", "I do not have time?" etc… If we are like the majority of people, this is something we just thought about it at least once a day. It seems like our lives continue to be busier but time does not stretch with that fact. However, when I read this quote it reminded me that great things can be done and have been done without stretching or increasing time. So let’s stop complaining about it, and do something.

 Let's reflect on the following:

1. What would you do with your time today, tomorrow?
2. What can you do to stop complaining and do something?

 Enjoy! Tatyana Camargo